Just an over view of how I am affected by and how I cope with/manage my different conditions/disabilities.
I guess my being an Aspie mostly affects the way I relate to, interact with and socialise with other people, I guess I cope with this mostly by staying home more than I go out, having most of my contact with friends/ other people through other medium such as the internet and texting. If I am going to a party or to spend time with a friend I usually try to prepare myself ahead if time, know where I’m going, what’s going to be happening, who else will be there and plan an escape route if I think I will need one, sometimes I’ll pick a person to help me sort these things and make sure I don’t freak out too much.
Change and routine are also affected by this, I don’t like much change and split second decisions can be hard on me, although if the day has been going well enough and I have something to look forward to, I cope a lot better with it (like the other day my brother text me to say he wanted to go look at some kittens, we made some plans, went to look at them and he ended up taking two home and I really liked the kittens so I decided to stay at his house that night, I didn’t have any of my stuff but the kittens made it okay to deal with). I have a routine of sorts, that can change on any given day, although usually not by much, all big changes are planned ahead for. I have my things such as when I get up in the morning I take my purple blanket, drink bottle and cell phones to the living room and put them by my seat and computer, I turn on the laptop, I go to the bathroom, visit my mice and then go to the computer and depending on the time of day/day of the week I go to check the letter box too.
I use stimming as a form of calming when things go wrong or I just feel the need to stim, although I tend to not admit it too freely, I pick my nose as a form of stimming, sometimes I don’t even notice I’m doing it (gross I know) rocking back and forward is one of the stimmings I do when really anxious in a public or social setting, if I am really stressed or upset banging my head on a wall or table helps calm me (my teachers at school didn’t like that one much) and on some occasions when things get too overwhelming covering my ears, shutting my eyes and rocking back/forwards and moaning or humming happens to, it htis happens I just need to be left alone to sort things out for myself.
So all in all for my Aspergers I need to be prepared and try to warn people who will be engaging with me in a social setting of what could happen and what my needs are.
My Mum was explaining ADHD to me once and said that there were 3 kinds, the common one with that short attention span and hyper daytime activity (my brother has), the sleepy one where you attention span is short and you learn a bit slower and are very active/hyperactive in your sleeping pattern, i.e tossing and rolling a lot while asleep (my big sister has) and what she said I had which is the sleepy-sleepy form where your brain processes a lot slower than others and you are often very lethargic and tired but at night you brain wakes up and works over time making it hard for you to switch off and go to sleep, also the short attention span thing happens too.
I used to be on medication as a pre-teen but have gone with out for years now as it didn’t do much to help, mostly I just try to get sleep when I can (often during the day works better than at night) take short breaks when I have to concentrate on one thing for too long, but that’s about it really, not much I can do.
With my auditory issue I have a lot of trouble processing what I am hearing, especially in loud environments, school classrooms were particularly hard as I would be distracted by a sound and unable to hear what was being said, if someone was having a conversation next to or behind me I would only be able to listen to them and not the teacher. but now as an adult I still struggle, I mishear what is being said, someone might be saying “I can do this because I’m over twenty” I might hear it as “I can’t do this because I’m over fifty” and even though I know that they are over 20 and not over 50 I still hear it wrong.
Trying to read in a room where other people are talking or watching TV is nearly impossible for me as all the noise will filter in and I will start seeing the words on the page as what I am hearing rather that what they actually say. I can’t eat something crunchy and watch TV at the same time without missing half of the dialogue because all I am processing is the sound of the crunchy food and not the sound of dialogue. I prefer to watch TV alone and on dvd/online so that I am able to stop and rewind multiple times so that I can puzzle together what is being said, especially needed if there is background music or sounds in the show.
To cope/manage I try to avoid important conversations in loud places, I try to read body language to gage emotion to try and determine if one of two words fits better, i.e I am talking to some and I hear “it made me really really g-something” I look at body language to determine if the word “giggly” or the word “grumpy” fits better or if I really didn’t hear I will try and notice how the seem to be feeling and answer based on that.
I will often ask people to repeat what they said but often don’t hear it even after 3 or 4 times which can be frustrating for me and the person speaking, when I can I try to use non-verbal communication to lessen the risk of mishearing especially if it is important. I am hoping to learn to lip read to help me get by in conversation. I have tried subtitles but I often can’t read the fast enough or at all due to colour or lighting or how far away the screen is so they don’t really help, that’s why I like to watch alone and in a quite place to be able to hear more, be able to pause and rewind when needed.
With my dyslexia I apparently have the rarest form (especially in girls) classical dyslexia, it affects my reading, writing and even my speech. I am a writer and an avid reader but it came later in life as I just couldn’t get my brain to process the words being read. I am a terrible speller and have some real trouble with the letter “E” it tend to leave it off of words that need it and add it on to ones that don’t e.g I would be trying to write “I got a letter from the doctor today” and it’ll come out “I got a letter frome th doctor today” which is frustrating as hell to me. another problem I have is words moving around when I am trying to read, I know that they aren’t actually moving but my brain sees them as doing so, I might be reading a line in a book and look away for a second only to look back and find the line somewhere completely different on the page, or I might not see a line at all the first few times I look only to find it another time or the trusty letter “S” that likes to move around like a snake on the page…very distracting.
I am also very verbally dyslexic too, words come out wrong all the time, one night I was trying to tell my brother something about the movie ‘eight legged freaks’ and it came out as “eigth fregged leeks” and to this day (it was like 5 years ago) I still have to say it over and over just to get it to come out right.
to manage I just take my time, when writing I use spell checker and read over things multiple times, when I speak I may have to repeat it more than once to get it right, I just need people to be patient, as I find it frustrating enough to deal with I don’t need people getting upset with me.
I have for years, since the age of nine, suffered from quite severe depression, struggled to get through days without breaking down and sobbing. to get through I try to think positive, try to find a reason to live and something to look forward to. I make promises to myself and to others to keep from doing something stupid…it’s the best I can do, I am not on medication for any of my issues, although I think I probably should be at least for the depression, anxiety and insomnia.
Although I do not have n official diagnosis of and anxiety disorder I am pretty sure I could get one if I went and saw someone about it. My anxiety can be crippling, I suffer from regular bouts of strong anxiety and panic attacks, sometimes for no reason and sometimes due to stress or social anxiety. Do my groceries is horrific for me, the actual shopping bit is okay if it’s later in the evening and on our regular day, less crowded, less noisy and if we come through our normal entrance so that we do a lope around in a certain order, I also have sever anxiety near the end when it comes to checking out, so I have someone stand with me if I can, I use a calculator to lessen the chance that I’ve spent more than I have.
Anxiety brought on my stress I tend to work through by texting a friend who talks me out of a panic attack first by asking about the stress, addressing the problem and then moving on to normal conversation to distract me, all of which is very helpful. I also find that biting or scratching myself to cause a little pain eases my anxiety a little as my pain/pleasure senses are pretty muddled together. Also allowing myself to think about fanficiton and nothing else takes me away from the stress of reality and puts me in a better place.
due to my ADHD and Aspergers I have a lot of sleep issues, mostly brought on my a Melatonin imbalance and an over active night brain. Not much helps, excpet maybe staying awake for a couple of days and letting myself crash after that or short nana naps during the after noon work well to.
I don’t really know much about my eyesight issues but I have trouble getting my eyes to focus on colour and words that are either too close or too far away, my reading glassed help for some of it but mostly I just put up with it until I can eventually afford to get my eyes tested again.
It’s manageable, it affects my ability to ovulate regularly and gives me horrible and regular painful and heavy periods. It causes me fertility issues that lead me to start this blog, at the moment I am not under going any fertility treatment but will in the future when I am in a position to start a family.
It is one of the main causes/triggers for my depression these days but I am muddling through.